Recently a client asked me to share more personal stories on the blog. She specifically wanted to know more about what the heck happened to make me disappear from the internet for two years. It’s a rough tale, but one that deserves to be told. There are many astrological influences that I’ll go into, but the first and foremost is Pluto.
Remember when Pluto and Saturn were bunched together at the end of Capricorn, causing the whole world to grind to a halt under Covid? Well, when they were doing that, they also happened to be parking themselves right on top of my Midheaven.
The Midheaven is our most public point, and it deals with both our careers and our visibility to the outside world. Saturn brings obstacles, and Pluto creates pressure. So a Pluto transit to the Midheaven makes it harder and harder to maintain public life.
At the time, I was juggling a writing gig on another astrologer’s website along with a brutal corporate job. And for a while, this worked. The corporate job fed my family and the astrology fed my soul. But as an astrologer, I could see the storm on the horizon. I knew that I would be faced with pain and horrors that would make me hide away from the world. And boy, was I.
My job began to exert more and more pressure on me. Our work volume skyrocketed, and management responded by telling us we were imagining things. And because we were so swamped, customers became angrier and angrier. It got to the point that I was getting death threats on a regular basis. I was forced to put my body and psyche on the line for the benefit of a business that felt perfectly entitled to abuse it. It became a vice I couldn’t escape, pressure building on both sides.
And on the astrology side, a rift was growing behind the scenes. The person I was working with began to share some of their hidden thoughts with me, and I discovered that they believed that many of the people I care about, including my child, were actively destroying the world just by existing. It was obvious that this partnership was no longer tenable.
See? The pressure was building.
But I have a Capricorn Midheaven, dammit! I was going to grit my teeth and gut it out. I’m also very fixed, which is a nice way of saying painfully stubborn. And finally, my Black Moon Lilith is in Cancer. When all else fails, I. Hold. Things. Together.
So I was not about to let Pluto take away everything I had worked for, okay? It was not happening. I would live in that pressure cooker forever if I had to, because seriously, was I supposed to give up my dream and my family’s security just because Pluto decided it was lights out? NO.
So there I was, smiling while boiling alive, but I was doing it. I was making it work. But then I was dragged even lower...
To be continued.
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